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The sixth International Cairn o Mohr Bottle Smashing Competition was won by a medium sized dark stranger who just rolled in from the car boot sale, still dejected looking after failing to land that bargain left handed cheese grater ,Dougie Issacs from Blairgowrie smashed a blinding four out of five hits that shocked the crowd out of their torpor, after witnessing a lacklustre first tranche of contenders none of whom got more than one if I can remember right and I cant, only to see the formidable Mr Isaacs ultimately take the trophy at the end of the day in this one of the longest sentences ever written for a bit. Not to be undone, although he was comma Aaron Gillies a close relative of mine although probably not spelled like that followed but maybe not quite, with another stunning barrage of bottle against rock, pop, pop pop they went and then clunk as a fourth one also hit the rock but sadly for aron it maintained it's operational integrity and fell to the pallet unharmed, in this truly international field.
Every year the Cairn o Mohr fruit winery in Perthshire Scotland stages the ‘International Bottle Smashing’ championship. Whereby contenders are given seven empty Cairn o Mohr fruit wine bottles to throw at a target, “The Rock”, which hangs from a frame, “The Thing”, with the object of breaking as many as possible over The Rock. Ladies throw from 10 metres and gents from 13 metres.
World Bottle Smash 2008 - The lowdown for you non-attendees
Of course the 30,000 crowd in their confusion and delight fell upon their pies with predictable consequences. The ladies trophy was finally taken by Kate Gillies, no relation, in this truly international field, in a nail watching finish. She got two in a playoff, seeing off one or two, I cant remember, previous winners back to their highland fastnesseses to think again or whatever The kids one just went on and on . The wee kidies Bottelum event went very well and was very well organised thanks to Cara, my bloody niece.
Overall winner of bottle smash was John Kelly of Forfar who took home a magnificent trophy made of solid gold painted card after smashing 3 bottles.
Another guy got three but he went away. Ruth Crawford retained the ladies after a magnificent performance scoring two and then winning the tie breaker against another lady who got thrown in a puddle last night.
A girl called Olivia Van Hooft won the kids with one. Well done. 86 contenders this year, best turnout yet. Conditions were tough with a stiff north westerly causing havoc.The pulsing air rang full and frequent with the sound of "Shame" as many bottles failed to stay in the alley at all, flying off left and right, crashing to grief on the surrounding concrete outfield.
One of my winery windaes got broken. Two particularly bottles on the unfancied underhand went wild, high and backward. (W,H & B) and staff were issued with hard hats. Robbie provided some atmospheric musical accompaniment
World Bottle Smash 2007
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LATEST NEWS - Date for Bottle Smash 2010 will be last Sunday in May,
Time of registration:12.30, time of start: 1.30pm,
Classes - Men, Women, 12 - 16 and bottelum for under 12s
Over a hundred punters turned out for the Cairn O Mohr World Bottle Smashing Tournament on Sunday preceded by the curry night slash bunch of animals party night, the night before which was processed to a raucous bulldozer of sound as delivered by Joon Broon and her 'Readers Wives.' Once I finally got around to my turn in the curry q earlier I had to fish around in the flooded pools of sauce for the one last lump of meat that there was, because all the greedy early bag storers had created mini munroes of miscellaneous savoury chunks on their plate with a slotted spoon. Even then how could i enjoy what there wasn't, when i blundered into an unscripted interview with my neighbour, who I had invited, right enough, and who has a cafe just along the road from us, and thereforemoreovernotwithstanding, my latest business plan (howsoever ( a cafe) is an unwelcome development that will trail the eviction of them out onto the Errol station road with their new born babe. Sorry neebur but I didn't think it through. We didn't have time. But it'll probably be alright ,maybe.
Over a hunner punters turned up for the Bottle Smash on a glorious day of hot sunshine which inadvertently, for him, had the effect of softening both rock and bottles such that many of the bottles that were on target stotted off the rock unharmed. It was an enjoyable competition but i flinched at every unconsummated strike with captain disaster standing at my back right hand corner with his smart white hat and sneer. Someone on his first go failed to convert and blurted out 'This is a rubbish game anyway.'
And i the inventor wondered, is it? People say that of golf all the time and then look around them at everyone else and realise that it cant be.
In the end the star from last year got beat by a big speccy kid.
Ah sweet.
World Bottle Smash 2009
